All this time I thought that the cover song entitled, "Moistened Vagina" done by Nirvana was called "Marijuana". Cobain was such a bad singer, I couldn't even tell that he was saying "moistened vagina" in the song the whole time I've had it and listened to it. That song rules even more now.
I haven't wrote in this for months. So much has happened since the middle of the Summer, I honestly don't know where or how to start. All I can say right now is that I'm content, but at the same time nervous about my future. I do think that I need some more motivation on what to write about. Help me by asking questions and I'll respond or either make an entry about what's been going on since then.
current mood: indescribable current music: Nirvana - Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle
Man, what the fuck? There's no one to hang out with. My two closest friends are busy doing non-work related shit and it's the summer...I don't get it. God damnit! I was hoping to hang out with friends more often this summer.
So much has happened since my last entry. I honestly don't know where to start and if I want to say everything word-for-word because I'm tired now.
This summer isn't the talk of the world for me so far, but at the same time it's not bad. I'm just hoping I can make it good for the rest of the time it's here.
I found my CD player by the way.
Oh, and I'll just say that I'm worried about Super Smash Brothers Brawl.
That's all for now.
current mood: blah current music: Alice Cooper - Feed My Frankenstein
My Great Uncle Nick who was 84 died last month and I had to go to his wake and funeral in Glendale, Queens. He had complications from an aneurysm and had a heart attack while in the hospital. It wasn't really a sorrow-filled funeral, it was sad but more of a celebration of his life and it wasn't too bad (despite the fact that I got no sleep the day before the wake). I felt really comfortable with family there that I haven't seen in years. Now that my Uncle died, it's the end of a generation in my family. I've realized that now my Dad is the oldest one in the family at 61 and it has me worried. I got to thinking about my Dad during the funeral and was incredibly nervous. I still am but I'm not as much. I really hope that my Dad stick around for a long time...
Life's been...the same. I'm suppose to be starting VESID in two weeks but I have a hunch that it'll take longer than that. Hopefully I can start a good job soon. I'm just really nervous that I'll wind up in a job where I'll have an asshole boss and rude co-workers. It'll more than likely happen and I'll just have to prepare myself for it. Everyone starts somewhere. I just hope that I can find and seek the good out of it.
I've realized that it's the time in my life that I start seeing old friends more often that I haven't seen since I've moved or have seen sporadically. I know so many friends that I haven't seen that I need to catch up with. The problem is that college is a time consumer and most of them live about an hour away in Nassau County and I don't have the money nor a car to keep seeing them. Once I get a job, I'm thinking about saving separate funds for when I want to take the LIRR out West. I think it would be a good idea.
I got Pokemon Diamond last week. I only have 7 Gym Badges so far and am taking my time with it. I really like it and I think it's the best game in the series yet. I went out to McDonalds to try out the Wi-Fi features (my Wi-Fi doesn't want to work, so McD's is my only option) and I was able to easily trade with someone.
My two front teeth feel weird...and with that I'm out.
current mood: hopeful current music: Nine Inch Nails - Closer To God
I feel like I'm the only person in the world who has never, ever drank an alcoholic beverage.
My close friends Louis, his brother Anthony, and Matt came over my apartment this past Saturday to hang out. My stepmom and I picked them up at the Patchogue train station and then we drove back to my house. It was the first time they came over since I've moved back and it was awesome. It was great for the first time in a long time having them all over my house. Anthony unlocked the Dream Land stage and Paper Mario trophy for me in Super Smash Bros. Melee. I was really surprised because he wasn't expecting to unlock trophy. We also flew my MicroXcopter that I got for Christmas and Matt was living back in 1998 playing my Pokemon FireRed. :-P In the end, we had pizza for dinner and were taking photos. Overall it was awesome and I stood outside by the train station in the cold with them until they left for home. I can't wait until the next time we get to hang out at my place again!
Oh yeah, why the fuck are so many people I know having Easter holiday family obligations on a Saturday? What the fuck is that shit? Does anyone else know if this is common in many families?
Over and out.
current mood: crappy current music: Nirvana - Something In The Way
Wow, it's 70 degrees today. Looks like Spring is here. There's nothing like a little good warm weather to come by. I just hope it doesn't leave and get too hot...
My Dad's smoking a cigar on the porch. He rarely ever does that and it's pretty rare for me to smell the smoke. It really brings back memories to those July 4th Levittown block parties.
So my Dad is a bastard. I was trying to sleep this morning, right? He storms into my room at around 8:40 AM and proceeds to scold me about when I'm going to go return the call from the family counseling service. He doesn't stop and continues to rant on about how I need to call and how I'm going to miss out on VESID. I yell at him and chase him out of my room, locking the door. I couldn't go back to sleep for another 30 or so minutes because of what he did.
Scolding at 8:40 AM? Give me a fucking break. He should have at least let me sleep instead of scolding me when I'm trying to sleep. That won't accomplish shit. He told me that everyone in the world starts their day early in the morning. I agree with that but I'm not working now so he needs to fuck off. He apparantly doesn't have faith in me in returning calls. I proved him wrong and right after I woke up, I returned the call.
God he pisses me off so fucking much. He's got to stop with this shit of scolding me for stupid reasons where he doesn't have faith in me. No wonder why I have such bad anger problems, he helps contribute to some of it. I'd move out but I don't have anything to fall back on so I'll have to endure some of this bullshit.
Then when he comes home from picking up Chinese food tonight, he trips on his shoelace while climbing the stairs and falls on the stairway making a big bang sound. I'm glad that he's okay and didn't hurt himself, but I think he got what was coming to him from this morning. :-P
God fucking damnit, I lost Phantasy Star Online Episodes I & II for the GameCube. Not to mention that I think that there was an extra Memory Card inside the case. I really like this game too. Of all the games that I had to lose, it had to be this one. One of my friends was also looking forward to borrowing it. :-/ Oh well, I just hope that it shows up again sometime. If not, then I probably won't ever see it again since it's practically impossible to find in stores.
Why couldn't I lose something lame like Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 instead?
Fuck, I stayed up all night and went to the appointment today feeling all tired. At least it went well. I'm going to meet with a psychologist tomorrow at a clinic in West Hampton beach at 1:00 PM for a mandatory psychiatric evaluation. This will be great. I'll finally be able to rant to someone about my depression, my Dad deciding to move, and my social problems. Too bad that won't happen until the next appointment, usually the first appointment is always signing papers and answering basic questions that you know the answers to.
After the appointment, I went with my parents to the Best Buy in Riverhead to get an optical mouse. They didn't have the one that I liked so we drove alllllllll the way to the Best Buy in Stonybrook. On the way, we bought a chair for my computer desk. After Best Buy, we drove to PathMark and on the street I couldn't believe what I saw. I saw a guy holding up a sign that said, "Honk If U <3 Jesus". I kid you not.
My stepmom actually honked too. Bleh!
Anyway, I went to PathMark with my parents and walked around like I was on something (in reality, I was just really overtired from not getting any sleep last night). Kept nagging them to leave and we eventually did and here I am now. I've decided to stay up and get through the sleep. That way I'll be able to get my normal sleeping pattern back to normal. I've stayed up for 24 hours so many times, it doesn't bother me as much.
I sent a message to a friend that I haven't seen since 5th Grade and he replied. I replied back and added him on MySpace and Facebook but he didn't add me back and he read my message. Why do I have a feeling that people fear and avoid me? I'm only trying to be a genuine nice person. God damnit.
Dad wouldn't stop annoying me today. He knocked on my door twice and asked for the Best Buy gift certificate when I told him once I didn't have it. Besides that, he really annoyed the fuck out of me today. Waking me up so early in the morning and screaming my name. "Anthony! Anthony! ANTHONY!!!" If he said it again, he'd be seeing the Game Over screen like when you die on MGS2.
I'm too tired to rant. I'll save it for another day.
Sorry for the angry-esque posts as of late. I guess I'm waking on the wrong side of the bed...
Out.
current mood: tired current music: Modest Mouse - Dramamine
I've been wondering, does anyone here want me to stop making my entries in the green font? I'm thinking that it hurts people's eyes. The only reason I had it as green is because it's my favorite color. Otherwise, I'll have it stay as white if you want me to. Let me know!
You know what's freaky? Seeing my old apartment in Levittown being exposed on my ex-downstair's neighbor's MySpace. A while ago, I was browsing a few people from Island Trees on MySpace and I was surprised to find my ex-downstair's neighbor's. I also found out that he moved upstairs (to clarify for people that do not know, I lived in a two-story apartment. I lived upstairs and he lived downstairs) and had the place completely renovated. I gotta tell you, It's fucking freaky to see a bunch of strangers in an apartment where you grew up for fourteen years. It gives me a big somber feeling in my stomache when thinking about it. I can remember how many memories that I've had there. To see it violated by people I hated from ITHS walking around inside the place gets me sick. I have to give them props though, they really fixed up the place. It doesn't look as trashy as it use to and it needed those repairs.
Anyway, enough whining about my past. Tomorrow I've got an appointment with VESID at 11:00AM. Which means that I gotta go shave and shower soon. Whoop-de-fuckin'-doo. I wish that the appointment was at a later time because I really fucking don't feel like going in the morning. It's something that I have to get done though. I'll just have to put up that fake smile and nod. I moved back down here to get away from the lifestyle of waking up, staying on the computer until 6:30AM and going to bed when people are just waking up, playing the occasional video game, and never ever leaving the house. I need to change my life for the better and this is my first step.
I think that my friend Nicole moved back to Long Island recently. I should try hanging out with her soon...haven't seen her since the Summer of 2005.
I was going to rant on something important tonight but I gotta go to bed now because my leatherfaced fat fuck of a Dad knocked on my door and started an argument on why I'm not sleeping. Does he want us to get thrown out and start arguments every time I'm doing something? God damnit...
Good fucking night.
current mood: angry current music: Nirvana - Aneurysm
God damnit, my computer is acting up and it's pissing me the fuck off. I think that something is screwed up with either my mouse or the computer and I don't know what it is. Almost everytime I click on something, it counts as a double click. Sometimes I can't highlight a friend's name on my AIM buddylist without an IM box popping up. I click on Back on Internet Explorer and it goes two pages back. Copying and pasting becomes a chore now because after I highlight a word, the highlight goes away. I even tried troubleshooting with the double-click speed for mouse options and it's still there. Sometimes I'll click on a word and it'll highlight it for me when I never intended it to be highlighted. And you know what else sucks? Clearing out IM boxes in tabbed messages on DeadAIM, only to see that I cleared out all of the boxes unintentionally. WTF!?
I'm not double-clicking unintentionally in frustration either. Anyone ever have this problem before? I need to know how to fix this or I'll go apeshit.
I applied the earwax removal liquid in my right ear yesterday and sat on my side for a few hours. When I woke up today, some of the pain went away but I can still feel some wax inside. I applied it again today and sat on my side for a little over an hour and still no dice. Hopefully if I continue applying the liquid it will eventually all go away. I wonder if it's possible for a loud sound to vibrate your earwax glands in a way for it to produce excess earwax? Hmm...
Trailer trashette IMed me again yesterday. I wonder how much longer until she gets bored of me.
Alright, last night this trailer park trash-looking girl sent me a message on MySpace proclaiming that I was nice looking. I then look at her profile and see that she lives close to where I just moved from. I was willing to talk to her, so we talked on Yahoo! Instant Messenger. I find out that she's eighteen years old with a baby. Then she asks me if I'm single. I tell her yes. I ask her what college she's going to and she tells me that she's still in High School.
Ugh. These are the type of people that I don't like hitting on me. It's one thing if you have a baby and you're able to raise it, take care of it, etc. However, if you're a teenaged mother and you're still in High School then that's another story. Good luck to her with starting college and trying to raise a baby at the same time. I could imagine if she had a boyfriend and how much more difficult it would be for her if both of them didn't know how to raise their daughter well. She added me on MySpace and I accepted because I am just nice like that. It's also because I sort of felt bad for her. If she decides to not talk to me anymore, I'll just delete her off my friend's List in a week or two. Otherwise if she's still trying to pursue me, I'll try to show her that I don't care and just delete her off abruptly. Either way, she'll be gone soon.
Anyway an update. I got another annoying bodily problem to whine...err report about this time. Last week, I had my headphones on and I watched a YouTube video. The sound was really high without me knowing beforehand and it hurt my ears. Ever since, my ear has been acting in a way that it just feels like liquid is inside and there is some pain. First I thought that mucus had built up in my ear. But last night I put my index finger into my ear and I could feel some wax. Now I think my ear somehow built up a lot of wax inside for some odd reason. Maybe the sound penetrated through my ear enough to release excess wax? Who the fuck knows! My Dad came home this morning with some earwax removal aid so I'll try that soon to see if that'll solve the problem.
I became a recent victim of "phishing". It's when you log into a fake MySpace login page that's used by hackers to obtain your password so they could spam your MySpace and post bulletins and comments that you didn't post. Yesterday I go to find out that half of my Top 16 were commented by the hacker so I wind up having to delete all of the comments, making a bulletin telling my friends that I didn't post those comments, and changing my password. The fucker even put an HTML link to a fake login page in my profile so others would be tricked. I wonder who'd have the time to do something so pointless like that?
Man, lip piercings and tongue piercings on girls (in my opinion) look so horrible. What makes them think that it's so cool?
I know that this sounds really stupid, but I hurt my thumb really bad and I'm unsure if it's broken or not. I don't think it's broken because I can move it around but when I do, it fucking stings. Like for example when I stretch out to reach something with my right arm, I'll feel a strain or "sting-like" feeling in my right thumb. I have no clue why the fuck this happened, but I'm pretty sure it's because I was button-mashing so much in DBZ: Budokai Tenkaichi 2 (God, that game is addicting!). I don't know how I can get this to heal. Has anyone here ever had this problem before?
Final Fantasy III is sort of boring, but I'm still trying to get through it.
I haven't even touched Final Fantasy XII yet.
New Year's Eve was okay. All I did was stay home, play DBZ, watch the ball drop, and drink some sparkling apple cider at midnight.
It's pissing me off that almost everytime I post a new entry, I mention a new problem with my body. First it's my hip, then it's my chest, then it's my neck, and now it's my thumb. WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME? I think I'm deteriorating.
Sorry for not updating in a while. I would have updated on Christmas but I had this fucking annoying neck ache (which is still sort of there, but it's starting to slowly go away) that started on Christmas Eve. I think I got it because of the way I was playing NHL2K7 on the Xbox with my cousins and I was laying on the floor with my head and neck laying on the bottom of the couch. I know that it sounds weird, but it's been annoying me for a week now and at first I thought I had broke my neck. I think I just may have strained a neck/shoulder muscle really bad and it's still trying to recover. God damnit, I'm always hurting myself...
Anyway, I saw my Mom's side of the family on Christmas Eve and it was nice. It was kind of weird though because I didn't see them in two to three years and I felt that it was going to be weird seeing them. I was also nervous before going to see them. I was stressed that they may have started asking me questions about college, future plans, and life in general. Well I was wrong, and I felt happy to be there. I feel like going there has helped me let go of my unhappiness. I have gained so much bitterness, anger, and embarrassment towards people from when I was living in Hamden and feeling stuck. I was not getting much accomplished and I was watching everyone and their lives speed by. I felt like once I got there and saw my family, all of my bitterness just went away. It was great and I liked being with my family again and seeing them.
Christmas was okay and nothing special this year. I got four gifts and they were an electric shaver, Final Fantasy XII: Collector's Edition, Final Fantasy III, and Dragon Ball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi 2. Final Fantasy III is okay, nothing special. It's fun but it gets sort of boring after a little while. I haven't touched FFXII yet. DBZ: Budokai Tenkaichi 2 has been addicting and I've been staying up late to play it. I've always loved DBZ but I never thought I'd be playing another DBZ game, let alone be interested in the series again. It's got everyone, about 120 characters. It gets hard too, especially when you're still semi-new to the game (like me). I'm playing on the hardest mode in Story Mode and at times the CPU will go after you and non-stop destroy you until you're down. I think it has pretty good AI. I'm up to the fight with Android #18 in the story using Super Saiyan Vegeta.
I got to see my friends this past Friday. It was great to see them as I haven't seen them since late August. We hung out at my friend's house and played GameCube, PS2, and NES games and then went to the Embassy diner as always. When we went to the bank across the street from it and talked for a while, a cop car came by and the guy asked us what we were doing. We told him that we were just talking and he told us to go back to the diner parking lot and talk there. So we walked back and the cop car was still there at the bank, so then we decided to drive back to my friend's house. What a close call with the cops!
So tonight is New Year's Eve and I'm sure a lot of people are going be out, "partying it up". It's always nice to watch the ball drop on New Year's Eve and then turn the TV off or change the channel once the confetti starts.
Anyway, I hope that everyone has a happy and healthy new year. I've finally moved and I'm about to start a new life here in East Moriches. Hopefully everything works out. It's hard to believe that 2005 and 2006 were long and boring years and all I wanted to do was just get out of that shithole town, Hamden.
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